Experiences from India's rural coast Part 1 - Dapoli

The story of my trip begins on the morning of the 21st of december 2008. After the hustle and bustle of the early morning that seems to be a prevalent feature of all such trips, we're finally ready and seated in our rented car. The time is 8 a.m, the flags are down, and the engine of our car roars to a start, our trip has begun ! Now before I go on, I think it's only fair to mention the individuals that I shared this voyage with. I'll start with my mom and dad who I'd met after a long 2 months, my cousins Rohan and Raunak Jayavant  who I'd met after 2 years ( unless you think email and facebook can be called a meeting) and my aunt and uncle ; Smita and Tushar Jayavant. So back to our journey ... it began silently, few words were exchanged, however, behind those calm, mild smiles lay a whole reservoir of subdued excitement ; the trip we'd all be waiting for had finally begun and we were all excited about the days to come. So where we headed off to anyway ? If I've got my facts right, our first stop was a place called ' Dapoli' on the western coast of Maharastra state, India. Dapoli like all the other places we went to, was a rural town where the main commercial activities were small scale fishing and farming. The residents lived in small houses made up of mud, brick and straw, the roads were narrow and laid in dusty red mud ( I suspect haematite was the primary constituent of mud in this region). After a long 3 hours in the car we arrived at our first place of residence, the Silver Sand hotel. Now I would like to remind all of you that this was a trip to rural India, this means there were no 5-star luxury hotels, no air conditioning, no soft beds, in short no luxury, and we were all reminded of this rather bitter fact at our first stop. Our rooms consisted of stone hard beds, a nonfunctional TV set, and well ... lets just say the bathrooms were not appealing !  However, with hindsight, living in this manner probably added to our experience of rural life, and it also meant that we all tried to spend as little time in the room as we could. By now, I've probably succeeded in conveying my initial reaction to the Silver Sand hotel, my initial reaction is probably best summed up in the infamous phrase ; " Oh my God, what have I got myself into !". At this point on our trip, our expectations had just taken a solid blow, but we soon realized that a bad start doesn't necessarily mean that what comes after is doomed ! No, not at all, our trip to Dapoli was just about to take a sharp unexpected turn, it was all uphill from now onwards. 

As soon as we had successfully established our presence, we left our rooms for lunch. With our souls feeling a bit down, a good lunch is just what we needed, quite literally food for our souls. The food at the resort turned out to be shockingly good ; hot, spicy and full of flavor and taste. 

We were also impressed by the restaurant's generosity when it came to the size of the portions. By the end of an hour of vigorous chewing and swallowing, we were all stuffed and satisfied. Suddenly the room seemed manageable ! 

Later that evening (by which time we had recovered some mobility after the belly stuffing lunch earlier that day), we were ready for our first 'beach walk'. The beach was magnificent ; large, flat and empty ! This place had a kind of untouched beauty that is becoming so rare in our ever developing world. That evening I stood on the beach looking towards the vast expanse of ocean beyond, and I thought of the earliest explorers of our Earth, I imagined their curious awe when they just like me looked to the vast expanse of ocean and realized that we were just insignificant members of a much larger world. For a moment I was one of them, looking to the sea and wondering what exotic worlds lay beyond this seemingly infinite expanse. Then I realized why I love science so much. I too am a explorer, I too look at the seemingly infinite expanse of space and time, I am on a journey of understanding, I use the tools of Mathematics and logic to plot my course. But where am I headed ? Where will my odyssey take me ? I am not headed to a new continent, instead I'm headed towards a truth. I know not the nature of this truth, what it looks like, or what it will tell me, I only know that it is magnificent ! 

The Universe's Conspiracy

We all have at some moment in our lives stopped to ask ourselves that all profound question ; " Where do we come from ? " The immediate answer to this question is our mother's womb, and many are satisfied with this answer and go on living their lives with a false sense of glee.

However, there are some whose minds are not as easily satisfied. There are some who seek a more fundamental answer. It is those individuals that now find themselves confronted with the paradox of the chicken and the egg. " What came first, the chicken or the egg ?" or in this context "the baby or the womb ?". As we follow this paradox back in time we soon realize that the gradual nature of the evolutionary selection process means that our original question is meaningless because there is no discrete point when a womb ceases to be a womb or a baby ceases to be a baby. Every womb and every baby is different and the changes that each undergo as we move back in time, are so small that no point can be described as the defining moment when a womb appeared for the first time or likewise for a baby. 

At this point, there are some from that original unsatisfied group that find that their curiosity has been quenched by an answer that has led them right back to the beginning of life. This is the end point for biological curiosity. Beyond this point there are still fewer adventurous souls that dare to venture beyond, and ask themselves a still finer question ; "what are the properties of life and all the materials that constitute the universe around us". To these individuals the final answer lies in the complex interaction of the chemicals that created that primordial soup of RNA that in time led to the womb and the baby of the original question. 

Now most of the world is happy and satisfied. Their question has led them a long way back in time, up to 3.9 billion years before the birth of the questioned baby. However, there still remains a small subset of the population that is uneasy. A portion of the population whose curiosity seems to know no bounds, a bunch of men and women who will only find satisfaction in knowing that all encompassing truth. A truth that often remains hidden from view, but whose precense is nevertheless felt and communicated by a mysterious language. A language used by the universe to communicate all its activities, the language spoken by the Universe's mind ; Mathematics.

Who are you really ?

Up to now I have refrained from expressing much of my opinion about matters. Much of the content of my blog has circulated around appreciating our differences, the differences that make us unique individuals. However, today I will break away from that trend. Today I will tell you why I think 'individuality' is under threat. We are in a world that is becoming increasingly overcome by mass hysteria, and we are losing our individual voices and instead we are chanting the verse of the crowd. 

I am 18 years old and in University. Every night I see my peers getting involved in the ultimate exercise of mass hysteria - clubbing. In a club it is sometimes difficult to tell whose who. Everyone dresses the same, drinks the same drinks and everyone basically acts like everyone else. Last Wednesday I went to a club for the first time. I spent most of my time standing at a corner observing people's behavior. I watched but I could not understand. I could not understand who these people were. They were all the same, I could not identify one individual from the next. All indistinguishable in character and persona, like a crowd of clones. I walked out of that club that night feeling very alone, like an alien that would never belong in this world. 

Then I thought about the structure of our society. We have themed parties, formal dinners, and off-course clubs. But never have I heard of a party whose dress up code was your personality. Imagine an invitation : " ... dress code : wear your personality ! " . Have you ever thought about what you would wear to such a party ? I would love to ask all you clubbers that question, so what would you wear ? 

Ok, so I think that mankind's character diversity is decreasing. But is this necessarily a bad thing ? Off-course there is a counter argument to this whole idea. May be what we are witnessing is some kind of natural selection process. A process that is selecting individuals of one personality type over others. In that case selection is working against me ! crap. May be I should change ! Or may be not, may be I'll just stand stubbornly against the forces of evolution. 

Stepping into a new life

It has been almost 3 weeks since I started my new life in University. It certainly has been a time of great change and has left my mind overwhelmed as it tries to consolidate and make sense of all the new, alien experiences. All the new work has left me little time to delve deeply into the philosophies of life and thus you will have probably noticed that its been a while since I wrote my last blog.

Nevertheless, I'm back with yet another post to add to my growing blog tally, however, this time my thoughts are less clearly defined, which means I cannot end this post with a new moral or 'lesson learnt', instead in this post I can only convey my own confused state of mind and try to diagnose my psychological state. Perhaps this exercise may even liberate my mind from this state ! It is quite interesting that sometimes diagnosis of a problem is the cure.

In my last post (about a month ago), I mentioned that the landscape of my life was about to change drastically. Well my life has changed and right now I find myself turning my head in confusion as I try to come to grips with this new reality and make sense of how it relates to my past, and where it will lead me. 

It's hard to make sense of the last couple of weeks. Everything that I would take for granted over the last 18 years has suddenly disappeared ; no parents, no one to call me for lunch, no structured compulsory system like school, basically no one to regulate and keep my life on track. It's like being thrown into the wilderness with nothing to protect you from the inherent dangers of the jungle, however, on the other hand, there is nothing to stop you either, from exploring the depths of this jungle in an unregulated fashion and discovering a paradise you never knew existed. Such is the two-faced nature of my life ;  presenting new dangers, but also offering new opportunities. 

But for a moment lets move away from the pros and cons of this new life and tackle the significance of this step to my overall development. This is it ! This is the ' real thing'. I can't help but think that all my last 18 years of life were preparing me for this moment. The moment when I would be released into the 'real world', to fulfill my dreams. The time has come for me to do something extraordinary. But where do I start ? How do I start ? Will it really be as extraordinary as I imagined ? 

Because it has to begin, and it has to begin now !

My uncertain future

Life has often been compared to a journey. The changing landscapes analogous to the changing times in our lives, however, ever so often, there is a drastic change in landscape, a sudden change that propels us into a completely new, unfamiliar arena. Such a stage has arrived in my life. Soon I am to leave the home that I have known for as long as I can remember and enter a new place that is to become my next home.

Getting ready for college is more than just about passing exams, packing essentials and opening bank accounts. Indeed when put down on paper in this fashion, it may seem deceptively simple. But that is exactly the point, when put down on paper it seems simple because paper fails to capture aspects of the mind that need to readied. To me, the most difficult task when preparing to enter college is ; convincing yourself that you're ready to take on all the new responsibilities forcefully given to you, that you actually deserve a place in your college, and overcoming the feeling of exposure and insecurity that fills you up as soon as you realize that you're no longer under the protective shell of your parents. In fact the aspect of my parents that I think I will miss most is the feeling of ease of security that almost covers you up like an aura when you're with them. 

So how do I plan to make up for these ' emotional subsidies' that are soon to be withdrawn ? 

Well, when one protective aura is taken away, you must find another one to replace it. This is where I believe friends come in. Friends may actually help to recreate at least partially, the protective aura that is lost on leaving my parents. This is simply an application of the principle of ' security in numbers'. 

So how about convincing yourself that you're ready to take on responsibilities pertaining to yourself ? My plan of action here is simple ; organize my schedule, stick to it, and learn by experience. Why so much emphasis on organizing ? Well I believe that planning the future can often considerably reduce the fear associated with its obscurity. 

And lastly, how am I to convince myself that I deserve a place at my University ? 

My answer ; I don't and it is irrelevant. What matters is not what others think in other words, the standard of the University is not my reference point. My true reference point lies within my own mind, and this is a fact that I must always try to remember, because it is very easy to forget. 

Ideas and Revolutions !

I am an idealist and I believe in the power of ideas ! But what exactly is an idea and why are ideas so important ?
Well, these are the questions I will answer in this post and along the way I shall tell you about my definition of success and fulfillment.

So lets get started with the simplest question of them all ; What is an idea ?
An idea is an outburst of originality, it is an expression of one's individuality, it is the signature of a unique, brave mind willing to challenge the norm, it is the beginning of a revolution !
But how can an idea lead to a revolution ? How can something so humble, born in the mind of a single individual transform into a worldwide phenomenon ?
To answer this question I would like to draw up an analogy between the process of development and a flowing river. High up in the mountains, a river is born from a single stream. The stream itself is born from a source higher up in the mountains that it made up of nothing but a collection of rainwater. This source is analogous to an idea. As the stream flows down the mountain, it joins up with other streams or tributaries to form a larger stream of water all flowing in a common direction, think of this as an idea gaining support from a few individuals who have now joined hands and dedicated themselves to the fulfillment of this idea. Now you can see that as the river flows down the mountain, its volume increases as more individuals dedicate themselves to the idea. However, all is not smooth sailing. The river soon reaches the middle of the mountain where the land is fairly flat and there are many rocks obstructing the river's flow. Consequently, the speed of flow decreases, and the river meanders as it tries to find ways around the obstacles. This is a tough time, it is all about finding ways around problems the idea must confront and opposition to the realization of the idea is at its peak. Nevertheless, even this phase is eventually over and as the river flows down the base of the mountain it sometimes splits up into several distributaries representing different versions of the idea and eventually, the idea is realized and as it joins with the sea, it becomes a part of all of us.
Looking back from the source high up in the mountains, we can see the sea in the distance, and a great sense of satisfaction is felt by the original inspirer of the idea, a sense of fulfillment. Success has been achieved. However, as careful observers, we must note that sucess was not just about the stream from the source, without the tributaries that gave this humble stream its volume and force, it would never have reached the sea below. Therefore, sucess is not an individual achievement, instead it is the result of a coordinated effort of a team that believed in the idea and followed it through to its realization.
Sucess is not about getting to the 'top of the world', it is about moving the world forward.

Forgotten journeys

I am scared of Death. In fact death is my worst fear. You may think this is normal, after all isn't everyone afraid of death ?
However, the real question here is not if I fear death, it is why I fear death. Is it the pain ? the horror, the sadness, the lack of certainty in knowing what happens afterward ? Yes, these are certainly features of death that contribute to my fear. However there is another feature of death that may not seem so obvious. The feature has to do with a terrible, spontaneous loss of information. What information am I talking about ? Why should I be worried about losing information ? I am talking about the most precious information a human can gain, I am talking about the story that makes us unique as individuals, the story that becomes our prejudices, opinions and ultimately our actions. I am talking of the internal being that we spend our whole lives understanding and developing, I am talking about the mind.

Everyday a wealth of information is lost in time. Memories are lost, emotions and thoughts remain secrets for all eternity, and records of the journey we call life are forever lost in time. Life is less about places we go to, the jobs we carry out, it is more about the internal set of thoughts that make up our unique perspectives. Just as a small kid dreams about getting a certain toy and then when he finally gets it, seems to lose interest rather fast, sometimes the journey can be more rewarding than the destination. Fulfilling a dream is more than than just the dream itself, it is about the process of achieving that dream, and it is this rich reservoir of information in a human that death takes away.

Perhaps this is a good reason to have a blog. My Blog is a record of my thoughts, my emotions, my Life.

Social Interaction

I am a very private individual, I rarely express my deepest thoughts with others. I am a quiet individual and verbal communication is not my best mode of communication. To many people I appear to have a boring and bland personality. But why do so many people form opinions based on outward appearances ? Why do they fail to recognize the individual that lies within ? The individual who covers himself in a veil of silence, perhaps to hide a vibrant mind within.

I am by no means saying that my mind is particularly 'vibrant', rather I am trying to make a more general point about people and how they analyze others around them. My mind is still young in experience and knowledge, therefore, I do not pretend to be particularly knowledgeable in this subject. What I can do is tell you about my experiences, and what they have taught me about others.

Nature's primary purpose is survival. This survival instinct is an integral part of every organism on this planet, it means every organism will strive for its own survival and nothing is above this. This survival instinct in a slightly tamed form is what we have come to call 'selfishness'. Selfishness is an inescapable tendency, it controls us even when we don't know it. I am selfish, you are selfish and every organism on the planet is selfish so don't take the word to be a personal insult, it is more like a universal insult, only an ideal being namely God is free from this insult.
Selfishness often remains invisible to us and we remain oblivious to its influence on us. It dictates our interaction with others and this is what I shall talk about. I will try to shine light on this tendency and try to break away its invisible cover so you may understand how it affects our understanding and behavior with others.
Let us examine the process of interaction. Lets imagine two people arguing. Person 1 ( P1) says something to Person 2 ( P2). Let us examine how P2 analyzes the comment from P1. First P2 hears the comment, the process of understanding the comment then begins in the brain. How does P2 understand the comment ? The comment is converted from sound to a pattern of electrical impulses in P2's brain. This pattern of impulses is compared with similar preexisting patterns in the brain and an opinion is formed based on P2's experiences, memories which are the building blocks of his personality. Therefore, P2's response will be in accordance with his personality which in turn has been built up from HIS experiences, HIS memories and HIS genes. A similar process will work in P1's brain, and because neither one is considering the other's perception of the matter, the arguement continues and this is a form of selfishness. A form built into our structural brains which do not allow us to experience another person's memmories and experiences and therefore, we are apparently cursed with a lack of empathy. Verbal language is incomplete in its capability to communicate because it cannot communicate a personality, a memmory, an experience, ultimately a point of view.

So how do we overcome this problem ? There is no perfect solution. All we can do is remember that our perception is not fact. I adopt this approach in my life and my interaction with people. I think we must be humble enough to admit that our view of reality is not law. We must be willing to empathize with others and recognize that everyone has a unique mind with a unique way of operating. What are the consequences of my philosophy ?
That is perhaps should be the subject of another post.

Reverse Engineering a Thought

Some of you who have being following my Blog since the beginning of this month may still be wondering why I decided to analyze Einstein's thoughts and their emotional source. You may be wondering where all this is leading to.
Ok, so no more riddles, no more hidden intentions, the time has come to reveal the meaning of all this analysis.
The last few posts reflect a recent developing interest ; my interest in the human mind. More specifically my interest in reverse engineering the process of thought to discover its roots, and perhaps one day figure out a way to mimic the same processes artificially. Yes, you guessed it, I'm talking about Artificial Intelligence.
I believe the link between emotion and thought is an essential one. The two are inseparably linked, and so if we were to produce a conscious being capable of thinking like us, we would also have to give it emotions like us. Consciousness is a feeling, an emotion or a mixture of emotions all resulting in thought. All these properties ; consciousness,emotion, thought, sensory inputs and outputs, are all connected in a cyclical manner that we are yet to fully decipher.
However, today we are closer than ever to the final answer. Our computers have grown in power, speed and functionality. They control our manufacturing processes, they link us all through the Internet, they control virtually every aspect our lives. However, we are still at the beginning of this chain of command, we tell the computer what to do and it does it. You may think I'm an idealist, but I believe the time has come to complete this computerized chain of command, the Age of Conscious computers is very nearly upon us.

The Dangers and ethics of such a development are quite obvious and have been the subject of a few hollywood movies. Ignoring these would be like madness. However, I think such technological developments are inevitable, all we can do is ensure that such technology is introduced in the right manner, in ways that will not prove to be apocalyptic.

Einstein's lost thoughts

The time has come to analyze Einstein's emotional mind. But wait a second , wasn't this blog supposed to be about my Universe ? My life and my mind ? Why am I going on about Einstein so much ? If these are the kind of questions you are asking yourself at this moment, I will ask you to be patient and read on, I will answer these questions in due time.
So we now have quite a solid understanding of Einstein's equations, his physical concepts and the radical ideas he used to shake the very foundations of Physics. So what remains ? We are left with Einstein's emotional mind. But why should we query Einstein's emotional mind ? What good will it do to analyze and understand Einstein's emotions ? To answer this question we have to allow our minds to take a little dip in neuroscience and psychology.
The question to be answered is : ' What is the importance of emotion ?'
To answer this question, I would like you to imagine a world without emotion. What would this world be like ? Let me tell you what such a world would be like ; it would be senseless and without principles. There would be no good or bad, no fear, no passion, no curiosity and ultimately, and this is the point I want to bring to the forefront, there would be no thought. Emotions are that bubbling broth from which thoughts emerge.
So now I hope you can appreciate the importance of understanding emotion, and by understanding Einstein's emotions, we can trace the source of all his wonderful equations and contributions to science.
Lets not waste anymore time, lets dive straight into Einstein's mind and discover the secret, lost thoughts behind one of the greatest minds of all time. In order to carry out this daunting task, we have to BE Einstein, we need to try to relive his memories and see where they take us.
Imagine the young boy Einstein, he dislikes discipline and is an average student. But with such a great mind why would he remain average ? Also let us note that Einstein was a quiet child and kept away from his peers. At the age of eleven, Einstein went through a phase where he became very religious, and when he was fed up with schooling at Munich, he convinced a doctor to diagnose him with 'neurasthenic exhaustion'.
What does all this mean, how does it all add up to produce Einstein's character ? Oh and I almost forgot, he played the violin from a very early age, and enjoyed doing so. From all this, I can come to only one conclusion : Einstein was an emotional, intuitive thinker. He kept away from his peers because he was an introvert and could not connect with his peers on the same emotional level. Einstein was an independent thinker from a very early age and therefore, disliked a system of schooling that hindered his freedom of thought and expression. His brief but intense religious experiences shows that he was a strong believer in good and evil, basically that he was an emotional idealist, he believed in living by the principles he thought were correct and was not interesting in conforming to society's demands or rules. This led to him becoming isolated in thought from the rest of those around him.
The conclusion that Einstein was an independent thinker is a very important one. Eventually, I believe it is this quality that led him to his famous, abstract theories of relativity and other contributions to Quantum mechanics. Now you may be wondering how his independence of thought may lead to all his discoveries. Let me explain : To answer you're query, we must think about how a person becomes an independent thinker. You see, an independent thinker broods over the thoughts that swim past their mind, such a person often values his privacy because it is during this time that he can evaluate his life and develop principles by which he will operate. In the case of Einstein we can imagine all of this, and also note that strong emotions and intuition were the source of his thought and principles. Intuition and this quality of independence led him to create his theories. I think we can now understand why the job at the Swiss patent office proved so fruitful for him ; there was plenty of time for brooding over thoughts and independent thinking.
It is also interesting to note that Einstein once chose to become a high school Physics and Math teacher. The reason is simple, he wanted to share his independent, self made thoughts with others, and try to stimulate similar thought processes in others. By the time he chose to do a course in teaching, his confidence had grown and was therefore, no longer shy to share his thoughts.
All in all, Einstein was a deeply emotional individual and a very independent thinker. He was passionate about his work, and it is the vigor of his passion that summoned his great ideas. His own realization of this is probably best summoned up in his famous quote "I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious".

With that, I end my little Einstein discussion. However, I never mentioned how all this connects to my own life. Or perhaps I already have !

Einstein's Role in my Universe

Albert Einstein was arguably the greatest physicist in the history of mankind. He died in the year 1955 at the age of 76. So now you may ask, if he died in 1955, how in the world did he affect my life, my Universe ?
The answer is simple, he affected my Universe through the numerous equations, concepts and philosophies he left behind.
The significance of his equations and concepts have been widely discussed by almost every physicist after him. Therefore, this is an area that I will not delve deeper into, instead I will focus on the philosophies and principles he developed and applied to his own life.
One such philosophy is the idea of visually constructing experiments in one's mind, for the purpose of logically reasoning out situations ; his so called 'Thought experiments'. The most famous example of a thought experiment carried out by Einstein is the one that talks about the young Einstein ridding on a beam of light. I've found this method of thinking very useful ( even though I may perform it in my own unique way !).
But lets step away from all that Einsteinian line of thought that ultimately results in solutions for Physics problems. What are we left with ? We are left with a bag of quotes relating to thoughts of self reflection and his analysis of society. Is that it ? Some of you may think so, but I challenge you to think again !
I believe his quotes ( that reflect his analysis of society) provide us with great insight into the emotional Einstein. They offer us an angle to analyze the emotional level of his mind. Einstein often claimed that no one could understand him, yet everyone loved him. Was he referring to his equations and his logic when he said this ? I don't think so ! He was referring to something even deeper, the part that makes us all human, our emotions. He found that he was not able to connect to others at the same emotional level, and therefore, he concluded that no one understood him. Perhaps the time has come that we crack the final Einsteinian puzzle, the part of him that no one was ever able to solve.
I shall pursue this in my next post.

Why did I create a Blog ?

The name of my Blog sums up in two words the purpose of my Blog. Everyone has a unique mind, one that is built by our genes, our life experiences, our memories and the topics that we come to think about and form opinions about. In short we all have unique perspectives of reality (infact Einstein told us that we even have unique perspectives of time and space ! ). My Blog represents my perspective, the Universe as I see it from my eyes ; My Universe.
"But wait a second" , says a critical reader.
"Ok so you have a unique perspective, but why would you want to show it to the rest of the world through your blog ? what will somebody else gain by understanding your life ? of what use is this blog to anyone who reads it ?".
I reply : " Of what use is a novel ? Yes, it is for the purpose of entertainment, but there is more to a novel than just entertainment and time pass, a novel enriches our lives by introducing us to new possibilities, by dazzling our minds with exotic mysteries, by stretching our imagination to new realms. We learn that our view of the Universe is but a small subset of a reality that encompasses the perspectives of all the entities conscious enough to realize that they are experiencing the Universe. Similar to a novel is a blog, and maybe by learning something about my life and my mind, I may succeed in broadening your view of the Reality we call our Universe."