My uncertain future

Life has often been compared to a journey. The changing landscapes analogous to the changing times in our lives, however, ever so often, there is a drastic change in landscape, a sudden change that propels us into a completely new, unfamiliar arena. Such a stage has arrived in my life. Soon I am to leave the home that I have known for as long as I can remember and enter a new place that is to become my next home.

Getting ready for college is more than just about passing exams, packing essentials and opening bank accounts. Indeed when put down on paper in this fashion, it may seem deceptively simple. But that is exactly the point, when put down on paper it seems simple because paper fails to capture aspects of the mind that need to readied. To me, the most difficult task when preparing to enter college is ; convincing yourself that you're ready to take on all the new responsibilities forcefully given to you, that you actually deserve a place in your college, and overcoming the feeling of exposure and insecurity that fills you up as soon as you realize that you're no longer under the protective shell of your parents. In fact the aspect of my parents that I think I will miss most is the feeling of ease of security that almost covers you up like an aura when you're with them. 

So how do I plan to make up for these ' emotional subsidies' that are soon to be withdrawn ? 

Well, when one protective aura is taken away, you must find another one to replace it. This is where I believe friends come in. Friends may actually help to recreate at least partially, the protective aura that is lost on leaving my parents. This is simply an application of the principle of ' security in numbers'. 

So how about convincing yourself that you're ready to take on responsibilities pertaining to yourself ? My plan of action here is simple ; organize my schedule, stick to it, and learn by experience. Why so much emphasis on organizing ? Well I believe that planning the future can often considerably reduce the fear associated with its obscurity. 

And lastly, how am I to convince myself that I deserve a place at my University ? 

My answer ; I don't and it is irrelevant. What matters is not what others think in other words, the standard of the University is not my reference point. My true reference point lies within my own mind, and this is a fact that I must always try to remember, because it is very easy to forget. 

Ideas and Revolutions !

I am an idealist and I believe in the power of ideas ! But what exactly is an idea and why are ideas so important ?
Well, these are the questions I will answer in this post and along the way I shall tell you about my definition of success and fulfillment.

So lets get started with the simplest question of them all ; What is an idea ?
An idea is an outburst of originality, it is an expression of one's individuality, it is the signature of a unique, brave mind willing to challenge the norm, it is the beginning of a revolution !
But how can an idea lead to a revolution ? How can something so humble, born in the mind of a single individual transform into a worldwide phenomenon ?
To answer this question I would like to draw up an analogy between the process of development and a flowing river. High up in the mountains, a river is born from a single stream. The stream itself is born from a source higher up in the mountains that it made up of nothing but a collection of rainwater. This source is analogous to an idea. As the stream flows down the mountain, it joins up with other streams or tributaries to form a larger stream of water all flowing in a common direction, think of this as an idea gaining support from a few individuals who have now joined hands and dedicated themselves to the fulfillment of this idea. Now you can see that as the river flows down the mountain, its volume increases as more individuals dedicate themselves to the idea. However, all is not smooth sailing. The river soon reaches the middle of the mountain where the land is fairly flat and there are many rocks obstructing the river's flow. Consequently, the speed of flow decreases, and the river meanders as it tries to find ways around the obstacles. This is a tough time, it is all about finding ways around problems the idea must confront and opposition to the realization of the idea is at its peak. Nevertheless, even this phase is eventually over and as the river flows down the base of the mountain it sometimes splits up into several distributaries representing different versions of the idea and eventually, the idea is realized and as it joins with the sea, it becomes a part of all of us.
Looking back from the source high up in the mountains, we can see the sea in the distance, and a great sense of satisfaction is felt by the original inspirer of the idea, a sense of fulfillment. Success has been achieved. However, as careful observers, we must note that sucess was not just about the stream from the source, without the tributaries that gave this humble stream its volume and force, it would never have reached the sea below. Therefore, sucess is not an individual achievement, instead it is the result of a coordinated effort of a team that believed in the idea and followed it through to its realization.
Sucess is not about getting to the 'top of the world', it is about moving the world forward.

Forgotten journeys

I am scared of Death. In fact death is my worst fear. You may think this is normal, after all isn't everyone afraid of death ?
However, the real question here is not if I fear death, it is why I fear death. Is it the pain ? the horror, the sadness, the lack of certainty in knowing what happens afterward ? Yes, these are certainly features of death that contribute to my fear. However there is another feature of death that may not seem so obvious. The feature has to do with a terrible, spontaneous loss of information. What information am I talking about ? Why should I be worried about losing information ? I am talking about the most precious information a human can gain, I am talking about the story that makes us unique as individuals, the story that becomes our prejudices, opinions and ultimately our actions. I am talking of the internal being that we spend our whole lives understanding and developing, I am talking about the mind.

Everyday a wealth of information is lost in time. Memories are lost, emotions and thoughts remain secrets for all eternity, and records of the journey we call life are forever lost in time. Life is less about places we go to, the jobs we carry out, it is more about the internal set of thoughts that make up our unique perspectives. Just as a small kid dreams about getting a certain toy and then when he finally gets it, seems to lose interest rather fast, sometimes the journey can be more rewarding than the destination. Fulfilling a dream is more than than just the dream itself, it is about the process of achieving that dream, and it is this rich reservoir of information in a human that death takes away.

Perhaps this is a good reason to have a blog. My Blog is a record of my thoughts, my emotions, my Life.

Social Interaction

I am a very private individual, I rarely express my deepest thoughts with others. I am a quiet individual and verbal communication is not my best mode of communication. To many people I appear to have a boring and bland personality. But why do so many people form opinions based on outward appearances ? Why do they fail to recognize the individual that lies within ? The individual who covers himself in a veil of silence, perhaps to hide a vibrant mind within.

I am by no means saying that my mind is particularly 'vibrant', rather I am trying to make a more general point about people and how they analyze others around them. My mind is still young in experience and knowledge, therefore, I do not pretend to be particularly knowledgeable in this subject. What I can do is tell you about my experiences, and what they have taught me about others.

Nature's primary purpose is survival. This survival instinct is an integral part of every organism on this planet, it means every organism will strive for its own survival and nothing is above this. This survival instinct in a slightly tamed form is what we have come to call 'selfishness'. Selfishness is an inescapable tendency, it controls us even when we don't know it. I am selfish, you are selfish and every organism on the planet is selfish so don't take the word to be a personal insult, it is more like a universal insult, only an ideal being namely God is free from this insult.
Selfishness often remains invisible to us and we remain oblivious to its influence on us. It dictates our interaction with others and this is what I shall talk about. I will try to shine light on this tendency and try to break away its invisible cover so you may understand how it affects our understanding and behavior with others.
Let us examine the process of interaction. Lets imagine two people arguing. Person 1 ( P1) says something to Person 2 ( P2). Let us examine how P2 analyzes the comment from P1. First P2 hears the comment, the process of understanding the comment then begins in the brain. How does P2 understand the comment ? The comment is converted from sound to a pattern of electrical impulses in P2's brain. This pattern of impulses is compared with similar preexisting patterns in the brain and an opinion is formed based on P2's experiences, memories which are the building blocks of his personality. Therefore, P2's response will be in accordance with his personality which in turn has been built up from HIS experiences, HIS memories and HIS genes. A similar process will work in P1's brain, and because neither one is considering the other's perception of the matter, the arguement continues and this is a form of selfishness. A form built into our structural brains which do not allow us to experience another person's memmories and experiences and therefore, we are apparently cursed with a lack of empathy. Verbal language is incomplete in its capability to communicate because it cannot communicate a personality, a memmory, an experience, ultimately a point of view.

So how do we overcome this problem ? There is no perfect solution. All we can do is remember that our perception is not fact. I adopt this approach in my life and my interaction with people. I think we must be humble enough to admit that our view of reality is not law. We must be willing to empathize with others and recognize that everyone has a unique mind with a unique way of operating. What are the consequences of my philosophy ?
That is perhaps should be the subject of another post.